Let Me Lie

I now remember why I am not a forest person.

I prefer green open fields, and water. I like a view, not a being cramped between hundreds of trees. Roots and rocks and small paths you have to balance to stay on.

Well, really, I like the woods. But It's official - I am a spring person. Not summer.
If I HAVE to choose, I say summer. Because I prefer how nature looks when it's summer. And spring where I live is mostly goo and melting snow. We don't have the slow-blooming-flowers and the grass progress. We have melting-snow-progress and it's all grey and dirty and then BAM after weeks of that it's... maybe summer.

But ugh! We've had spring now, for once. Nature's acting like it's summer, but the temperature's down. It's perfect! I tend to think that 65% of the summer's too warm anyway. I love strolling around with a thin jacket on and stuff. And no bugs! Some bugs, but not many. They haven't had time to wake up yet.

But today is one of the first real summer days. Sort of. It's not very warm, but warmer than it's been. And the mosquitoes are eating me alive despite me putting on that anti... thingy. And the ants are alive by the thousands again! Ugh. It was PERFECT the way it was:

I'd just stroll out into the woods and stand still, listening to the breeze brush against the leaves, seeing the trees sway slightly, enjoying the wind in my face. It being perfectly chilly-but-not-cold and just... the fresh air!

The forest was amazing then. No ants, no mosquitoes, just me and the tress and the bushes and the wind.

Honestly, the sound of rustling leaves is the best sound in the world. The chirping of the birds is so calming, and beautiful. The air smells so different. It's clean, and fresh, and full of energy.
I feel alive when I'm outside. Like I'm home, like i really belong. I just want to build a little hut or a tree house and live there forever. But I can't. That's not how it works.

But I go out there whenever I can, humming Let Me Lie as I stroll with my dog. (Let me breathe the forest air, it's the life force that we all share.)

But now I can't find that peace. There are ants literally on your shoes, there are so many on the little path, and despite using smelly stuff on your exposed skin, the mosquitoes bite you and swarm around in your face. :( Not very relaxing.

Instead I went to the entrance of the woods and let my dog search for treats, and revising her tricks, to keep her mentally occupied at least for a little while. It was fun. And it made me enjoy getting home!
Now I can sit and be lazy today and actually enjoy it, after having been outside in bug chaos for ages.

It's funny how I was supposed to make a short post and whine about insects ruining my perfect harmony in the woods, and then I end up talking about how much I love that place.

But really, guys, next time you're outside in a forest. Don't run, or walk, or even stroll. Don't move. Stop in the middle of the woods and just stand there. If you're on a path, get off it. Move a few feet into the undergrowth/bushes/trees, however your forest looks.

Listen to it. Really listen, and breathe deep. Watch the trees move, feel the wind blow! It's like the wind isn't only brushing by you, it's going through you!
In lack of another word, I truly believe that nature is filled with energy. It's all around you.

I could be standing in a big city, watching all the people racing by, and... all those people... all of those... souls, I suppose, wouldn't - not even combined - make up half the energy I feel when I'm alone in the woods.
Even with all those people around me, I'd feel lonely and misplaced. Big cities are interesting and exciting, but it's not home.
Me and trees... That's the best way to be! When I'm standing there, just me, my dog, and those trees... I never feel alone. It's ironic how nature tends to do that to me. Empty woods versus big city with thousands and thousands of people... And I'd be less lonely among the trees.

I wish I could meet someone else who sees the beauty in the world like I do. Mother loves the outdoors, friends really like to be out walking and staying active, sure.
But I've never met anyone quite as freaky as I am. 

We say that magic isn't real. But when I go outside and stand around... I truly find that magical. To me, that is magic. Even the simplest thing like the rustling of leaves in a breeze. It's so beautiful.
I truly wish I could meet somebody who thinks like me.

You know... I had a boy over from England, twice, in the last couple of months. I took him on a walk through that forest path, all the way through to the dirt road on the other side. Told him about the first time I found that place, and how exciting and amazing it felt, like I'd discovered a whole new world. We walked along the dirt road for a while, and then, as we were walking back home he said he liked it... but... that he was "a little bored of it now, to be honest."

I understand that. That's what normal people feel. I didn't expect more, but it was still sad to hear. The thing I loved most of all - and he was bored of it.
I replied with the story about how I found all sorts of things when I was out walking there for three hours last summer. And I fully intend to go there again this summer! And make it four hours! Two hours out, two back.

Well, I'm sure somebody will come along at some point. One day I'll find a friend who feels the exact same way I do about nature! ... Maybe I should go befriend the Double Rainbow guy.
That's basically how I feel when I see beautiful things, except I keep it inside. No... No, not basically. That freakin' IS how I feel. Like I want to scream and cry and live in that moment forever.

Surely there must be ONE other freak in the world apart from me and him.
Preferably someone I can meet up with and appreciate things with.


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