Let Me Lie

Jun. 3rd, 2011 05:44 pm
maccadole: (Default)
[personal profile] maccadole
I now remember why I am not a forest person.

I prefer green open fields, and water. I like a view, not a being cramped between hundreds of trees. Roots and rocks and small paths you have to balance to stay on.

Well, really, I like the woods. But It's official - I am a spring person. Not summer.
If I HAVE to choose, I say summer. Because I prefer how nature looks when it's summer. And spring where I live is mostly goo and melting snow. We don't have the slow-blooming-flowers and the grass progress. We have melting-snow-progress and it's all grey and dirty and then BAM after weeks of that it's... maybe summer.

But ugh! We've had spring now, for once. Nature's acting like it's summer, but the temperature's down. It's perfect! I tend to think that 65% of the summer's too warm anyway. I love strolling around with a thin jacket on and stuff. And no bugs! Some bugs, but not many. They haven't had time to wake up yet.

But today is one of the first real summer days. Sort of. It's not very warm, but warmer than it's been. And the mosquitoes are eating me alive despite me putting on that anti... thingy. And the ants are alive by the thousands again! Ugh. It was PERFECT the way it was:

I'd just stroll out into the woods and stand still, listening to the breeze brush against the leaves, seeing the trees sway slightly, enjoying the wind in my face. It being perfectly chilly-but-not-cold and just... the fresh air!

The forest was amazing then. No ants, no mosquitoes, just me and the tress and the bushes and the wind.

Honestly, the sound of rustling leaves is the best sound in the world. The chirping of the birds is so calming, and beautiful. The air smells so different. It's clean, and fresh, and full of energy.
I feel alive when I'm outside. Like I'm home, like i really belong. I just want to build a little hut or a tree house and live there forever. But I can't. That's not how it works.

But I go out there whenever I can, humming Let Me Lie as I stroll with my dog. (Let me breathe the forest air, it's the life force that we all share.)

But now I can't find that peace. There are ants literally on your shoes, there are so many on the little path, and despite using smelly stuff on your exposed skin, the mosquitoes bite you and swarm around in your face. :( Not very relaxing.

Instead I went to the entrance of the woods and let my dog search for treats, and revising her tricks, to keep her mentally occupied at least for a little while. It was fun. And it made me enjoy getting home!
Now I can sit and be lazy today and actually enjoy it, after having been outside in bug chaos for ages.

It's funny how I was supposed to make a short post and whine about insects ruining my perfect harmony in the woods, and then I end up talking about how much I love that place.

But really, guys, next time you're outside in a forest. Don't run, or walk, or even stroll. Don't move. Stop in the middle of the woods and just stand there. If you're on a path, get off it. Move a few feet into the undergrowth/bushes/trees, however your forest looks.

Listen to it. Really listen, and breathe deep. Watch the trees move, feel the wind blow! It's like the wind isn't only brushing by you, it's going through you!
In lack of another word, I truly believe that nature is filled with energy. It's all around you.

I could be standing in a big city, watching all the people racing by, and... all those people... all of those... souls, I suppose, wouldn't - not even combined - make up half the energy I feel when I'm alone in the woods.
Even with all those people around me, I'd feel lonely and misplaced. Big cities are interesting and exciting, but it's not home.
Me and trees... That's the best way to be! When I'm standing there, just me, my dog, and those trees... I never feel alone. It's ironic how nature tends to do that to me. Empty woods versus big city with thousands and thousands of people... And I'd be less lonely among the trees.

I wish I could meet someone else who sees the beauty in the world like I do. Mother loves the outdoors, friends really like to be out walking and staying active, sure.
But I've never met anyone quite as freaky as I am. 

We say that magic isn't real. But when I go outside and stand around... I truly find that magical. To me, that is magic. Even the simplest thing like the rustling of leaves in a breeze. It's so beautiful.
I truly wish I could meet somebody who thinks like me.

You know... I had a boy over from England, twice, in the last couple of months. I took him on a walk through that forest path, all the way through to the dirt road on the other side. Told him about the first time I found that place, and how exciting and amazing it felt, like I'd discovered a whole new world. We walked along the dirt road for a while, and then, as we were walking back home he said he liked it... but... that he was "a little bored of it now, to be honest."

I understand that. That's what normal people feel. I didn't expect more, but it was still sad to hear. The thing I loved most of all - and he was bored of it.
I replied with the story about how I found all sorts of things when I was out walking there for three hours last summer. And I fully intend to go there again this summer! And make it four hours! Two hours out, two back.

Well, I'm sure somebody will come along at some point. One day I'll find a friend who feels the exact same way I do about nature! ... Maybe I should go befriend the Double Rainbow guy.
That's basically how I feel when I see beautiful things, except I keep it inside. No... No, not basically. That freakin' IS how I feel. Like I want to scream and cry and live in that moment forever.

Surely there must be ONE other freak in the world apart from me and him.
Preferably someone I can meet up with and appreciate things with.


  DFTBA
    Mac

Date: 2011-06-03 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ededitz.livejournal.com
My god, you are so like me it's spooky. I know exactly what you mean with the Magic of feeling the forrest. You know, I would almost say you are a witch and mean that as a compliment. I got into witchcraft because I felt this very deep and weird connection to the forest and then I saw the Robin Hood series in my youth (with Michael Pread) and I got that same feeling watching that. I got really deep into those episodes and they dealt with the magical aspect very well. It was personified in the form of Herne the Hunter who was a tree god and the spiritual Father of Robin Hood.
It's a feeling of deep belonging which someting comes over you. I can't describe it but I'm sure you know what I mean. And you can't always get that feeling. The conditions need to be right. For me it worked best when I was in a deep black forrest in the autumn time. With the mist and mistique hanging in the trees. Something magical happens to you. It's as if you gain a special insight. Ever since I first got that feeling I've been wearing a silver pentagram on a chain around my neck, to remind me of it.
Well, I hope this makes sense but I think it's the same as what you felt today. It's humanities loss that so many people don't have that feeling anymore.

Date: 2011-06-03 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com
Oh, honey, you make perfect sense. Perfect sense.
I can't describe the way I feel a lot of the time. Words aren't enough. It's not even worth explaining if people don't feel it themselves, because just describing it can never do it justice.

Thank you, thank you, for your lovely comment. I'm beyond glad someone understands what I mean!

Date: 2011-06-03 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ededitz.livejournal.com
Oh cool! I was actually wondering myself if I was the only one who ever felt that way so you can imagine how awesome it was to read your journal-post just now.
It's just weird how much alike we are actually. This is not the first time we had this happen :)
So Cool ^___^

Date: 2011-06-03 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com
I know! And I love it. I really need to be around people like you.
People who I have things in common with. It doesn't have to be everything. I don't want to hang out with clones of myself. But I want to be around people who I have a lot in common with!

And you and I are so alike it's crazy, yet we're different. It's perfect!

Date: 2011-06-03 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ededitz.livejournal.com
Well, that will happen if it's up to me. I certainly want to hang out with you even if it is for just a few days. I think we would instantly feel eachothers vibes, no awkward hand shakes needed hahaha.
Especially because you're not someone who needs to be busy all day long. (Like, when I watch some american girls vlogs I think, how can they live like that? How can they not get tired of themselfs? I get tired from just watching this vlog!)
Anyway... the meet up will happen :)

Date: 2011-06-03 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com
Hahah, I know what you mean! It's strange how much energy some people have. How can they keep so busy all the time? I mostly want to do my chores, live my life the way I got to, and the rest of the time...? I just want to sit around and relax.

We definitely have to meet up for a short while in the future. We still have those pancakes to make!

Date: 2011-06-03 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ededitz.livejournal.com
Oh yes the pancakes. And live on BlogTV aswell haha. That'll be great!! :)

Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-04 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] findin9my0wnway.livejournal.com
While I've mentioned liking big cities in my blog, I grew up in a small town. The story I'm writing has it's origins from when I used to explore the woods and fields behind my parents house. When I was a teen, I used to meditate on a fallen tree that acted like a bridge over a small stream behind the house (an activity that I describe my main character doing in my book). It's why I continue to explore places off the main roads and like to learn about places that not many people are aware exist.

There is an energy in the woods. It's very peaceful and welcoming. It's a place where I can clear my head, or think about things that interest me. It's a part that I don't normally share with other people because I fear they may find it boring. It's nice to hear of someone else who can also appreciate the beauty of nature.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-04 08:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ededitz.livejournal.com
Yes, that's certainly how I feel it too. As a mystical energy. Btw, are you a published writer? Anything I could buy or find online? I would love to read some of your work.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-05 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] findin9my0wnway.livejournal.com
Sadly, no. But I'm working to change that. I'm in the process of reinventing myself, and completing the book I referred to is one of my goals.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-04 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com
The place you describe sounds very much like the surroundings in Bridge to Terabithia. It is one of my absolute favorite movies, despite being more or less a movie meant for children, or at least teenagers. There is a novel, too.
If I lived near fields and woods and fallen tree-bridges I'd spend my whole day there, only sleeping at home.

I'm equally glad that you can relate to what I'm describing. It's very nice to know more people feel the same, and can find that peace outside.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-05 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] findin9my0wnway.livejournal.com
I felt a deep connection to that movie as I often imagined myself in a different reality when I was in the woods. My story is based on those imaginings, though greatly tempered with the wisdom of my adulthood.

The tree I referred to is showing its age. The last time I was back there, I found that the tree has since collapsed into the stream creating a natural dam. I have a friend who can draw photo-realistic drawings who said he could recreate how the tree looked before it fell into the stream. I plan to send him photographs of the area and the tree so he can work his magic.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-06 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com
Oh, wow, so you've seen it? I assumed you wouldn't have, I'll admit. But by the sounds of it, you have?
I can relate to it as well. In more ways than one. Especially the way they play. That is how I played when younger, too.

I hope your friend can recreate the beauty of the tree before it was broken.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-06 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] findin9my0wnway.livejournal.com
Yeah, I saw the movie when it played in the theatre. Beautiful film, though I hadn't expected the sad ending. I could relate to how the characters took events from their real life and encorporated it into their imagined world, as I often did the same in my imagined world. I loved how the scenery was portrayed. Definitely my type of film.

Re: Definitely not alone.

Date: 2011-06-07 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maccadole.livejournal.com
Oh, wow, I am blown away. I've taught myself to assume as little as possible. I never thought anyone I knew could've possibly seen it, especially not older friends. I'm shocked and very happy to hear this!

I heard about it when it was new, but I never got around to watching it. But years later... I finally did! And I've loved it ever since. I've seen it several times, and it is my go-to movie when I need cheering up.

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