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maccadoleSupposed-to-be-TL;DR (but ended up only slightly shorter than original rant, but this is more to the point, at least):
Both big and small changes personality-wise the last couple of months. I sort of had enough.
Now I've changed.
I'm the kind of person who reads fic now. Lots of it. I'm like obsessed! I've gotten into the habit of doing a lot of things I didn't used to do. I Tumbl like mad now. Also, I'm back here on Livejournal. I first only posted episode reactions. Then more. Then started reading my friends list again. And searching for new Comms to follow.
I even Tweet! That's the thing I started doing before anything else. And it's not something I have to make myself remember to do. I just do! Every now and then I tweet. It's something I do now.
The fic thing had my friends shocked tonight. I'm fully expecting them to actually ask me "Who are you, and what have you done with Mac?" any moment. We've already been through the "What. Wait. How? Since when?" initial shock.
I know. I'm as surprised as you are. I AM ENJOYING THE INTERNET AGAIN! It's no longer a burden, checking sites. I LOVE IT! Can't get enough.
THE END!
Or, read rant:
I've changed a lot the last year. Well, at least I hope so. Perhaps it's not a lot, but I have changed at least.
I've matured, I'm more down to earth. I've become more optimistic again, and generally less anxious and stressed out.
I've worked through issues, stopped caring about some things - both good and bad - and I'm a tad more boring these days. I'm still silly and nerdy, that's true, but I try to tone some stuff down. Not in an awfully bad way, like I try to hide or suppress bits of my personality. It's more like the core has changed. I prefer to be a little more boring now rather than all OMGWTFHYPERHEEHEE like I could be in the past. I've matured, really.
I'm still a nerdy insecure idiot when it comes to some stuff :D
But overall I like to think I've grown up a lot.
But... Apparently the biggest change is something irrelevant, which is ironic. My friends are shocked, and I have to agree. Hahah.
See, I disappeared from most places online a while back because I felt like everything was a burden. I wanted to check my flist, sure, but eventually I couldn't tell if I was doing it because I wanted to or because I should. I had to keep updated all the time with everything on Twitter, and Tumblr, and LJ, and YouTube, and AAAHHHH!! Even when I wanted to, I didn't truly enjoy it.
It always felt like something I SHOULD be doing, or "had" to do. Which is silly. But I couldn't stop feeling that way.
And now I've randomly fallen into the habit of... Everything. And I love it! Like really.
Like back in the day, as a teenager, when I used to sit at Hogwarts.nu all the time, and Kaitaka.net. And most of the time when I had to go live my life and do homework or whatever, I couldn't WAIT to get back online and talk to friends on MSN, and hang out in the forum.
Good times, that. Before my unofficial OCDishness kicked in and I was all "Have to check ALL THE THINGS!!!!"
It started when![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frejasanne asked me, rhetorically I think, whether her internet connection was failing, or if Tumblr was down.
Don't know if she wanted me to check, or not, but I did anyway. And it worked. And I signed on. First time in months. And ALL THE TUMBLR!!!!!
And now I Tumbl all the time.
And when my shows came back for their fall season, I ended up posting reactions, and thoughts, and from there personal stuff too. Ehehe. But that was all. I didn't check my flist. But. Then I did.
I don't remember why, But I did. And then I searched for new Comms to join, too, and things got out of control. So now I'm active on both LJ and Tumblr, and I haven't once felt that burden, or that fake-want-but-not. I honestly love it! All of it!
I've sort of slipped into doing all of these random things, and liking these random things, and I have no idea where it comes from. But I love it!
Oh.
And I can post shit like a normal person. Ohh. Ohhhh. I can post shit like a normal person!
That's probably why I enjoy it more now.
Like in my reaction post about Sanctuary. There was something I didn't quite understand, and in the past I would've researched the hell out of it instead. Because god knows I can't post things and admit I am an idiot and didn't understand something!!!!!!!
But now I just think "fuckit" because I'm tired of, like, everything. Life's too short to worry about irrelevant things. And instead I wrote that, yes, I didn't get it, perhaps I'm slow, but that's the truth, so can someone enlighten me?
So much easier.
Hah! I probably enjoy internet more now when things aren't a have to, and when I'm not scared of posting the truth, even if it's considered dumb. Go me!
Oh yes!
I also read fic now.
Don't get me wrong, I've read fan fiction in my day. Harry Potter. So. Many. Fics. Always. Seeking them out. Writing them. EVERYTHING. My first fandom, haha.
Since then I've read fic for shows I really care about. A few Buffy, at least. Several Stargate SG-1, even a few longer, and a handful of Sanctuary stories. And Sanctuary is the only fandom I've been in, actively, while it's airing. Since like, HP. And I was tiny then.
But I STILL didn't read fic for my favorite show. Mostly just short, short things. Sporadically.
And now... I've read five fics in a day. No, four. Started my fifth. And one was chaptered! And the one I'm reading now is several parts. I don't do fic. If I do, they're short.
I am not at all surprised my friends went O.O at me and started babbling nonsense like "YOU! Wait. What. How? When?"
They'd written me off as never reading fic. I love it!
DFTBA
Mac
Both big and small changes personality-wise the last couple of months. I sort of had enough.
Now I've changed.
I'm the kind of person who reads fic now. Lots of it. I'm like obsessed! I've gotten into the habit of doing a lot of things I didn't used to do. I Tumbl like mad now. Also, I'm back here on Livejournal. I first only posted episode reactions. Then more. Then started reading my friends list again. And searching for new Comms to follow.
I even Tweet! That's the thing I started doing before anything else. And it's not something I have to make myself remember to do. I just do! Every now and then I tweet. It's something I do now.
The fic thing had my friends shocked tonight. I'm fully expecting them to actually ask me "Who are you, and what have you done with Mac?" any moment. We've already been through the "What. Wait. How? Since when?" initial shock.
I know. I'm as surprised as you are. I AM ENJOYING THE INTERNET AGAIN! It's no longer a burden, checking sites. I LOVE IT! Can't get enough.
THE END!
Or, read rant:
I've changed a lot the last year. Well, at least I hope so. Perhaps it's not a lot, but I have changed at least.
I've matured, I'm more down to earth. I've become more optimistic again, and generally less anxious and stressed out.
I've worked through issues, stopped caring about some things - both good and bad - and I'm a tad more boring these days. I'm still silly and nerdy, that's true, but I try to tone some stuff down. Not in an awfully bad way, like I try to hide or suppress bits of my personality. It's more like the core has changed. I prefer to be a little more boring now rather than all OMGWTFHYPERHEEHEE like I could be in the past. I've matured, really.
I'm still a nerdy insecure idiot when it comes to some stuff :D
But overall I like to think I've grown up a lot.
But... Apparently the biggest change is something irrelevant, which is ironic. My friends are shocked, and I have to agree. Hahah.
See, I disappeared from most places online a while back because I felt like everything was a burden. I wanted to check my flist, sure, but eventually I couldn't tell if I was doing it because I wanted to or because I should. I had to keep updated all the time with everything on Twitter, and Tumblr, and LJ, and YouTube, and AAAHHHH!! Even when I wanted to, I didn't truly enjoy it.
It always felt like something I SHOULD be doing, or "had" to do. Which is silly. But I couldn't stop feeling that way.
And now I've randomly fallen into the habit of... Everything. And I love it! Like really.
Like back in the day, as a teenager, when I used to sit at Hogwarts.nu all the time, and Kaitaka.net. And most of the time when I had to go live my life and do homework or whatever, I couldn't WAIT to get back online and talk to friends on MSN, and hang out in the forum.
Good times, that. Before my unofficial OCDishness kicked in and I was all "Have to check ALL THE THINGS!!!!"
It started when
frejasanne asked me, rhetorically I think, whether her internet connection was failing, or if Tumblr was down.Don't know if she wanted me to check, or not, but I did anyway. And it worked. And I signed on. First time in months. And ALL THE TUMBLR!!!!!
And now I Tumbl all the time.
And when my shows came back for their fall season, I ended up posting reactions, and thoughts, and from there personal stuff too. Ehehe. But that was all. I didn't check my flist. But. Then I did.
I don't remember why, But I did. And then I searched for new Comms to join, too, and things got out of control. So now I'm active on both LJ and Tumblr, and I haven't once felt that burden, or that fake-want-but-not. I honestly love it! All of it!
I've sort of slipped into doing all of these random things, and liking these random things, and I have no idea where it comes from. But I love it!
Oh.
And I can post shit like a normal person. Ohh. Ohhhh. I can post shit like a normal person!
That's probably why I enjoy it more now.
Like in my reaction post about Sanctuary. There was something I didn't quite understand, and in the past I would've researched the hell out of it instead. Because god knows I can't post things and admit I am an idiot and didn't understand something!!!!!!!
But now I just think "fuckit" because I'm tired of, like, everything. Life's too short to worry about irrelevant things. And instead I wrote that, yes, I didn't get it, perhaps I'm slow, but that's the truth, so can someone enlighten me?
So much easier.
Hah! I probably enjoy internet more now when things aren't a have to, and when I'm not scared of posting the truth, even if it's considered dumb. Go me!
Oh yes!
I also read fic now.
Don't get me wrong, I've read fan fiction in my day. Harry Potter. So. Many. Fics. Always. Seeking them out. Writing them. EVERYTHING. My first fandom, haha.
Since then I've read fic for shows I really care about. A few Buffy, at least. Several Stargate SG-1, even a few longer, and a handful of Sanctuary stories. And Sanctuary is the only fandom I've been in, actively, while it's airing. Since like, HP. And I was tiny then.
But I STILL didn't read fic for my favorite show. Mostly just short, short things. Sporadically.
And now... I've read five fics in a day. No, four. Started my fifth. And one was chaptered! And the one I'm reading now is several parts. I don't do fic. If I do, they're short.
I am not at all surprised my friends went O.O at me and started babbling nonsense like "YOU! Wait. What. How? When?"
They'd written me off as never reading fic. I love it!
DFTBA
Mac
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 08:33 am (UTC)Anyway, enjoy yourself!
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:24 pm (UTC)Green! And yeah, sure, we receive Christmas cards for the whole family just stating "fam. Blah blah"
If not, I'm Susann. Nice to meet, you!
I wish my last name was Blahblah. Would be hilarious to explain to people.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:27 pm (UTC)Oh and as for how long I've been on your flist...um, you added me because of Sanctuary I think. Not sure when though.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:44 pm (UTC)01:26am 15/10/2010 LJ tells me. Holy massive shit. That was a year ago.
I... Wrote a random comma in my last comment. "Nice to meet, you." ... Really, Mac?
Sorry, I'm really off my game tonight. Massive amount of multitasking.