(no subject)

[maccadole]

I used to be all rant, rant, rant.

I used to be all "I was born with really bright blonde hair, but then it got darker, also I dyed it once, and now I have sort of golden, light brown, dark blonde, middle blonde, something hair. I have glasses. They're scratched and the frame's beige or sort of brownishly golden. I'm short, and small, and I look younger than I am. My neck's wide, my shoulders a little bit uneven if you think about it, and my shoulder blade pokes out a bit on my left side. I have blue eyes."

Now I'm just:
"I have long hair and glasses"

Figure out the rest yourselves. I can't be bothered to try any more. I can't be bothered to care.

I recently - well, a couple of weeks ago - read something I'd written to a friend once. It was extremely long, complicated, and the point hardly got across. I also sounded like a dumb shit.

Words complicate things. People get tired of me rambling. I've never been good at telling stories. Words make everything dumb. Therefore I don't use them as much.
No more rants, I'll just get to the point. Something I've always been bad at.

I'm so sick of everything. Oh, yes! And I'm sure I'm annoying people with my negative view on things. I've always tried to be my best. I've tried to be optimistic. But I've had it. I'm through with that shit, because it doesn't matter anyway. Not to me.

And then I think about how I annoy people. Then I tell people, like how I'm writing it now, that I'm sorry if I annoy you. Then that whining about annoying people probably makes them even more annoyed. And I'm stuck in this loop. Depressing people whining about how depressed they are only make them more depressing. It's pathetic.

Anyway, wtfever.

On a happier note, Ireland was awesome!
I felt at home there. Not epic chills oh-my-god-this-is-where-my-heart-belongs with a matching score in the background or anything. Only a simple, calm knowing.

I'm sure there are places just as beautiful, as I keep telling people, and also far MORE beautiful. I would probably feel like I belong in a lot of places.

But Ireland killed me. And then I came home.

And my dog missed me, and then I left again, and Mother left, and Bell was all alone and nuts. And blah blah and she chewed on my iPod. It is now broken.
I dropped my external, was very tired from traveling, and Sweden is ugly, and I'm never-- no never mind. That's my shit, not yours. I'll stfu. You wouldn't get it anyway. The world will never get me.

Anyway, just wanted to tell people wondering that Ireland was awesome. Because you're expected to tell the whole amazing story when you've been traveling.

So that's it.

Bye.

DFTBA
   Mac

Comments

[ell-de-gothia.livejournal.com]

Weeell... if it makes you feel any better, your really long text messages where you ramble a lot are probably the best texts anyone has ever sent me. I always felt bad replying because my texts were so short (except for the ones where I had to keep notes to remember all the things we talked about. I kept up there! XP)!

[maccadole.livejournal.com]

Bahaha! I did that, too. On occasion. It was way too hard to keep up with it. We had so many topics going on.

I was kind of cranky when I wrote this. But I do still feel this way. I just didn't write it down well.
So it was really sweet reading your comment. Thank you!

And I miss texting with you.

[ell-de-gothia.livejournal.com]

Yes, we were pretty insane back then. I think us stopping is probably the reason I'm only sending a hundred texts a month, instead of a thousand... :P

Well, even if you do tend to ramble sometimes, it's usually never boring ramble. So that's good, you know. ^^

I miss texting you too! We should start it up again, somehow.

[ededitz.livejournal.com]

I think you matured in how you deal with the negativness around you. I can't listen to other peoples rants too (not for long anyway). I've enough shit of my own. But this clinic I was in is all about speaking your mind and having other people listen to your stories so you can imagine how sick I was of constantly having to listen to other peoples negativeness. I never remember anything of those stories either because I just don't take them in.
I'm glad your trip to Ireland was awesome. I think, and I said this before, that a change of scenery would do you a world of good.

(((hugs))) Eddy

[maccadole.livejournal.com]

I have. Some things I deal with better, some I don't. I don't really care enough to deal with them the right way. At times I don't deal with stuff at all. But at least I feel better about shit these days than I used to.

I get what you mean.
Thank you for your lovely comment!

[obsessioncalled.livejournal.com]

<3


This comment used to have a long, ranty (hah, I do rant too) bit about words being annoying (though not, mind you, in an stfu-Mac way, in an "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing with them" way), but. Whatever. It was just a rant and it didn't even have a point.


... :D :D At least I found the best-ever BFFs icon. I didn't even remember I had this.

[maccadole.livejournal.com]

I'm so pissy these days. A lot of adjectives come to mind. Douche, ass, complete fucker, rude idiot.

I don't really deal, I mostly run. I need to work on that. But I'm too bummed out to do that, right now.
Sorry that I've been acting up lately.

But maan, lol.
Ur heart was an awesome comment. Ilu lots, BFF.

Icon = awesome, wtf! You nailed it.

[findin9my0wnway.livejournal.com]

Just a quick *HUG* to help you feel more positive. Don't be too hard on yourself; it's good that you have an outlet for your feelings, and you have many friends who care.

[maccadole.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment.
I'll try to cheer up, haha!