(no subject)

[maccadole]

I used to be all rant, rant, rant.

I used to be all "I was born with really bright blonde hair, but then it got darker, also I dyed it once, and now I have sort of golden, light brown, dark blonde, middle blonde, something hair. I have glasses. They're scratched and the frame's beige or sort of brownishly golden. I'm short, and small, and I look younger than I am. My neck's wide, my shoulders a little bit uneven if you think about it, and my shoulder blade pokes out a bit on my left side. I have blue eyes."

Now I'm just:
"I have long hair and glasses"

Figure out the rest yourselves. I can't be bothered to try any more. I can't be bothered to care.

I recently - well, a couple of weeks ago - read something I'd written to a friend once. It was extremely long, complicated, and the point hardly got across. I also sounded like a dumb shit.

Words complicate things. People get tired of me rambling. I've never been good at telling stories. Words make everything dumb. Therefore I don't use them as much.
No more rants, I'll just get to the point. Something I've always been bad at.

I'm so sick of everything. Oh, yes! And I'm sure I'm annoying people with my negative view on things. I've always tried to be my best. I've tried to be optimistic. But I've had it. I'm through with that shit, because it doesn't matter anyway. Not to me.

And then I think about how I annoy people. Then I tell people, like how I'm writing it now, that I'm sorry if I annoy you. Then that whining about annoying people probably makes them even more annoyed. And I'm stuck in this loop. Depressing people whining about how depressed they are only make them more depressing. It's pathetic.

Anyway, wtfever.

On a happier note, Ireland was awesome!
I felt at home there. Not epic chills oh-my-god-this-is-where-my-heart-belongs with a matching score in the background or anything. Only a simple, calm knowing.

I'm sure there are places just as beautiful, as I keep telling people, and also far MORE beautiful. I would probably feel like I belong in a lot of places.

But Ireland killed me. And then I came home.

And my dog missed me, and then I left again, and Mother left, and Bell was all alone and nuts. And blah blah and she chewed on my iPod. It is now broken.
I dropped my external, was very tired from traveling, and Sweden is ugly, and I'm never-- no never mind. That's my shit, not yours. I'll stfu. You wouldn't get it anyway. The world will never get me.

Anyway, just wanted to tell people wondering that Ireland was awesome. Because you're expected to tell the whole amazing story when you've been traveling.

So that's it.

Bye.

DFTBA
   Mac

Comments

[maccadole.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment.
I'll try to cheer up, haha!